Friday, December 24, 2010


So the other day I bought myself a cheap new four-slice toaster. It's manufactured in China (isn't everything these days?) and the instructions were an interesting read. Here are some of my favourite quotations, with exact capitalisation, punctuation, spelling and grammar:

When using electrical applicances, basic safety precautions should always be followed including the followings:
[Always follow the followings. It's a basic rule when using electrical appliances.]

Do not clean with metal scouring pads.pieces can break off the pad and touch electrical pats involving a risk of electrical shock,
[Seriously, I never knew there were electrical pats involving a risk of electrical shock in Toasters. You live and learn.]

Do not use the Toaster near the place where is contain curtain and decorative fabric etc That is been easy to kindle, It can happen fire
[I guess one should stay at least a block away from curtain factories, fabric shops, flea markets and clothing retailers. They're all lousy with places where is contain curtain and decorative fabric etc That is been easy to kindle.]

When the tool work,can touch superficial temperature will chage of very high
[Um, what?]

It needs to use the "-"screwdriver which needs to use screw the model of M 4x6 screw,when open the crumb tray,please use the brush to clean it,then put on the screw again,but it needs to tighten the screws.
[Screw the model of M 4x6 screw, man. Screw it.]

1. During the use of Electric Appliance, a personal monitor on the Appliance is necessary.
[Dammit. A "Needs personal monitor for use on Appliance (not included)" printed on the box would have made it so much easier. Where the hell does one buy a personal monitor anyway, and how does one fit it on one's Electrical Appliance?]

Thank you for choosing our Electrical Appliance. We offer one year conditional guarantee on this product from the date of purchase. However, please note this guarantee is valid for normal condition operation of product. Any damaged of product due to user mis-use or careless handling, we will not responsible for any guarantee.
[Well, that's just a cop-out. Everyone always abnormal condition operates a Toaster product. Ask anyone.]

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