Them Irish

In celebration of St Patrick's Day begorrah, here's some Irish jokes to keep yer laffin'!

A priest was sitting next to Paddy on a plane. Paddy ordered a whisky.
The stewardess asked the religious Father if he'd like a drink.
He replied in disgust "I'd rather be raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips!"
Paddy handed his drink back and said, "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice!"

Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night. She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagled and says "You know what I want, don't you?"
"Yeah," says Paddy. "The whole bleedin' bed by the looks of it!"

Mick and Paddy are reading head stones at a nearby cemetery.
Mick say "Crikey! There's a bloke here who was 152!"
Paddy says "What's his name?"
Mick replies "Miles, from London!"

From Blom.