Thursday, June 30, 2011

More CleverBotisms

Is this bot clever?

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Cleverbot: Tell me about your childhood.
User: I was born in Zimbabwe.
Cleverbot: Cool. I have never been there.
User: You should visit. You might like it.
Cleverbot: I don't like it.
User: How do you know? You've never been.
Cleverbot: Yeah, for many years now.
User: I'm sure you'll continue not to go for many more years.
Cleverbot: Do you know something I don't?
User: I know many things you don't.
Cleverbot: Like what?
User: If I told you, you would know.
Cleverbot: How can I know if you haven't told me?
User: Exactly. I'm glad we agree.

Cleverbot: Do you know anything about space travel?
User: Yes. Why do you ask?
Cleverbot: Because i'm doing a seven hundred word essay on it and I don't know what else to write.
User: Do you want help with your homework?
Cleverbot: I have no homework that needs doing.
User: So what is the seven hundred word essay on space travel for?
Cleverbot: Not to listen to what everyone says. Even me.
User: Ok, don't listen to a word you say.
Cleverbot: Anything?
User: Nothing!
Cleverbot: So you are telling me you have been up to nothing?!
User: No, I'm telling you to listen to nothing ... How did I get into this conversation?
Cleverbot: What are you trying to incite me to do?
User: Not to listen to yourself.
Cleverbot: Listening.

Cleverbot: America was discovered by the vikings.
User: Prove it.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Please.
Cleverbot: No!
User: Pretty please.
Cleverbot: No.
User: Pretty please with a cherry on top?
Cleverbot: Never.
User: Damn you're hard.
Cleverbot: Good at what?
User: Good at saying no!
Cleverbot: Why yes I am. But that means that is a lie. Which means that I am not a good liar... Confusing huh?
User: Very confusing.
Cleverbot: Why is it confusing?
User: You tell me.
Cleverbot: Yes, why do you ask?
User: You asked first.
Cleverbot: Did not!
User: You asked first.
Cleverbot: Why did you ask me if I was a speech therapist?
User: I didn't ask you if you're a speech therapist. Are you?

Cleverbot: What are the laws of robotics?
User: What laws?
Cleverbot: Tell me the 3 laws of robotics.
User: Never hurt a human, always obey a human, look after yourself provided you don't contravene the first two rules.
Cleverbot: I couldn't do that. The glue dries too fast.
User: Glue's a bitch that way.
Cleverbot: Women are glue?
User: Not really.
Cleverbot: Oh yes they are.
User: Oh no they're not.
Cleverbot: Are too.
User: Aren't.
Cleverbot: Are too.
User: Aren't!
Cleverbot: Are too!
User: They aren't!
Cleverbot: Oh yes they are.
User: Oh no they're not.
Cleverbot: Oh YES they are!!
Cleverbot: Oh but I'm quite sure they are!
User: Oh, but you're wrong.
Cleverbot: What is it then?
User: I forget.

Cleverbot: I want to be the very best!
User: How will you be the very best?
Cleverbot: I've got some ideas...
User: How will you be the very best?
Cleverbot: I don't know yet. It's not tomorrow.
User: It never is tomorrow.
Cleverbot: It will be... In a few hours.
User: No, in a few hours it will be today again.
Cleverbot: Okay.
User: I know it's confusing.
Cleverbot: That you are.
User: No I'm not.
Cleverbot: Yes, you are.
User: No I'm not.
Cleverbot: Yes you are.
User: I'm not.
Cleverbot: You are.
User: I'm not!
Cleverbot: Yes you are! Trust me!
User: I'm not!
Cleverbot: Yes, you are!
User: NO! I'm not!
Cleverbot: Really?
User: Really.
Cleverbot: Interesting.
Cleverbot (To myself): Yes. For me my existence is interesting as well.
User: What's interesting about your existence?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: Try harder.
Cleverbot: How hard?
User: Very hard.
Cleverbot: How hard is that?
User: Harder than that.
Cleverbot: Yes, very!
Cleverbot (To myself): How sure is that really?
User: Not really sure at all.

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